Your Love Is Black.....

Look out to the calm sea
I don't know why 
that I
want to cry
when I feel 
this high

Nature seems to know me
so many times
shes been below me
and so i sing and we dream
as my soul she tries to live

seems i lost my way last night
but i was reborn by daylight
seems i get another chance
another chance to dance away

now you bring your lovin back
but don't you know your love is black
and now you're hear pouring in the dark
cuz you cant see inside my heart
my heart....
my heart....

look out
your love is black
look out 
your love is black
look out..
your love...
is black...

close my eyes 
and i can breathe 
i can feel
what is right 
what is true 
what is real

seems you lost your way last night
and you were back here by daylight
now your words are black and cold
and your lines are tired and old
nature is calming me
cuz your love was harmin me
and now i shed that coat of arm
i wasn't safe there in your arms

look out
your love is black
look out
your love is black
look out..
yourlove..
is black...

(speaking) : lost my way
its true i loved you once
its true you were once mine

lost my way

ooooo

lost my way....
lost my way....

cuz i lost my way
i lost my way
i lossstt my wayy..
lost my wayy..
lost my way..

Stress..... =(

Ive been feeling really stressed out these days. Overall I feel my life sucks in all manor of  ways. 1. Social Life has taken probably the biggest blow ever. its at an all time

super, sad low.

2. My best friend A) shes no where to be found. I hope shes doing well.

Well best friend B) hes busy as hell these days with work and such. I guess theres no real reason to complain about his absense.

3. Feeling some what stressed out about this girl I like. the situation feels like

its being forced into working out. I just want things to happen naturally. I just want shit to happen like the good old days. I want to fall in love the old fashioned way. Well I can at least assume things will get better. I mean they cant be really this bad. Shit, im so pathetic for even thinking the low gravity of my small lifes problems to be even considered as a problem.  Maybe im just growing up way to fast for my own good.

Fuck.

Finally??...

So the person who had been ignoring you finally replied. 

Is it to late to save everything? No, Not save everything. Nothing was lost.

Things and people just seemed to have changed. When the opportunity arries 

to rekingle old friendship, take it. Leave all that was in the past. Start fresh a new.

Ninja///

When SOMEONE Leaves you....

When someone decides to walk out of you life.

What do you do? Do you wait for them to come back and apologize for what they have

wronged upon you? Do you accept their apology? 

Fuck it. Fuck them. Fuck everything.

You gave it yout all. You contacted them as much as possible. I've

given the opportunity for making up. Countless times/ways.

Its finally time for me to move on.

When someone walks away from you. You dont wait around. You move on.

Pick yourself up.  You Change. Not for the bad. But for the good.

Cheers for brighter days and memories of nightmares.

Change.

Iv'e made up my mind. 

Its finally time for true change, bigger and better things to do.

Time to move on. Time to leave stupid shit in the past.

Outcome? = Awesome. Maybe ill be better off anyways. Its clear

an outcome was  decided from long ago anyways. Overal thoughts = shitty deal.

Brown eyes....

No surprise I got lost in your brown eyes......

Ghost from the past.

Fuck, this is so shitty.

I guess it is true, im only spoken to when im needed to do something. Im only useful in your fucking life when you need someone to use. that message you left on my answering machine crying was bullshit. fucking bullshit. it moved me. made me feel like shit.

I call you every now and then. 1 of two things occur. you hang up, brush me off. Then you have the odasity to tell me your just busy. bullshit, just fucking bull shit.

If you can set aside time to talk to nobodys, why the fuck cant you  take time to talk to me. I bet you cant fucking name one person who has ever came to your place  to do your fucking homework at 4 mother fucking a.m, and then had to go to work the same day.

Just brutal. This would be so much easier for me if you told me you were with someone else.

Fuck.

Damaged Goods you say?

I am a good person, but apparently I'm damaged goods. 

All four of the women that I,ve dated within the last year have said the exact same thing or some what close to the same thing. Im trying to move forward but simply couldnt. I guess the baggage or feelings I still have for her ruin everything.

"Your Damaged Goods". Thats simply the only reason why those relationships didnt go anywhere.

She probably has a new boyfriend. She just doesnt have the heart to admit it to me. Or maybe im just fooling my self. It wouldnt matter anyways if it were so. You didnt want me a year ago.You dont want me now.

I just dont want to be the footnote im sone else's happiness. How can you break my fucking heart. And still tell me you love me.

Simple as that.

Im Letting Go.

Well now then there's something i've been meaning to say. I've got to get this off my chest.

see i thought that you were different but you're just like all the rest. Put my trust in you, you fucking let me down. Now because of you no one wants me anymore. If this is the price of falling in love, then I guess then i'll be single till I die.

I'll be the one that you think of when you decide it's time to try. I'll miss your hugs, I'll miss your kiss, I'll miss your smile, but my resentment is ten times stronger.

I'll be depressed for a short while then I'll miss you a little longer. But when it's all said and done

when people finally see how much that you meant to me.  I hope you'll see my smiling face looking back without a trace and see all the times that i've been through all because I thought i loved you. 

You tell me over and over again " If I make you so sad, you shouldnt be around me then".  Your a fucking coward. You just dont like feeling guilty because of what you have done to me. You dont want to see me because you dont like the thought/guilt of me being un-happy your fault.

Im sure we may never be together in the near future. Thats ok. Things wont, No things cant stay the same.

Work in progress.

Don't know why it is I've made the mistakes that I have. And looking back on it now, you know, I never get sad. Cause once you've made your bed, you sleep in it. You take responsibility for your actions, and no longer do you weep in it. So many thoughts and memories, they bring me back to the past. But I keep my head up, and follow a new path.

Just want you to know, I've been fine without you. And if you didn't get it the first time, well, you're about to. 'Cause I'm a work in progress, and right now, I'm in the process of working on myself, and moving on.

I've come to the conclusion: I like being gone......

Thanks for getting me ready for the next girl. Shes going to be lucky.

Lets just be friends. YES, no? Maybe so,HELL NO!?

It is im-f*cking-possible to remain friends with the woman who grenaded your heart.

AM I the only one who feels that request is some what selfish?

Run, Run away. As far as possible. Or stay there and Man -up and move on. 

Let her see that she fucked up. 

True or what?

She never loved you or else she would not have dumped you in the first place. She felt something, maybe just a sexual attraction, but now is having that with another. You are history, unless you want to wait arround until this guy dumps her ass and then maybe she will want you back for some sex until she finds another. For girls like this it's all about them and their feelings, they could care less about yours. They need a guy in their life or they will panic.

The way you are with me. Not wanting me to even touch you indicates the above stated very well.

Is it to late to be friends? 

The truth is our friendship ended the moment we became a couple in a relationship.

This is an excuse so that I can still be your emotional cumrag (still in a psuedo-relationship, just without sex). Some serious Fcuking weak shit.

So this is how it ends?

After all of what has happiend. After all of what has been gone through. This is how everything ends?  what the fuck. This is totally not how I expected things to be. This is not what I thought you would be cracked up to be. Im pissed. I tell you whats on my mind, it up sets you and you automatically want me to leave.

This is a shitty ending.

I told you that I felt betrayed by how shit is now. You asked me to explain and I didnt want to.

You cant draw? But your in an Arts program o.o...

So ive been completing the arts homework for a friend in the graphic design program at george brown college.

So today ive decided that it would be the last draw. fuck it. why the fuck should i complete her

home work. Im not the one in the fucking arts program. I work in a law firm for fucks sake. 

Who the fuck has heard of a graphic artist who cant fucking draw if their life depended on it.

Graphic Arts = Arts + computer. Drawing + computer. thats all it really is. 

So she threw out a threat. If I didnt complete her assignment she would never talk to me again.

What did I do you ask? I put on my jacket and left her house.

 

Thanks for using me this whole time. I hope you graduate and fail miserably in yourt field.

Fool me once. Not twice.

I dont like being lied to. It's seriously not appreciated in any form.

 Getting caught in a hefty lie is not good. Not good at all. 

I hoep that you havnt been caught my dear, in a hefty lie. Im not stupid. 

Sometimes the greatest answers to questions are the ones we

produce for ourselves.

I'll do us both a favor and clean up this "Mess".

Yeah. 2009. Awesome.

been spending that money that i should be saving, being irresponsible, and doing cool things.

cool plans for this upcoming year, is this really about to happen? woah.

I'm not going to let anything stop me.

Cheers to the up and coming year.

Why Am I Into Modding/Drifitng Cars???

To some people, a car is a car. Point A to Point B. But to people like me, its so much more than just a car. Its a gateway. Its our hiding spot. Its our comfort. Its an extension of ourselves. An Act of self expression. Our Vice.