Still on my brain....

Things recently well, not recently but yesterday things slowly set into place or well took a turn that was good. I fixed a major error with something in particular, studied hard and focused.

But where are you? your still missing. Or well im wrong for saying your missing my dear, you just don't want to be found. It's come to my conclusion that if you wanted to get a hold of me you would easily do so, just like the many times before. Or maybe im just over reacting, you could easily be busy like the rest of humanity.

Behind hidden screams no one can hear the pain of my heart tearing when I'm not with you, I seem to disappear and hide in the shadows. Its safe to say im honestly longing for you but nobody knows, or well i attempt as best as possible to not display these feelings publicly at all as well as not bringing them to anyones attention through conversation. Or oddly enough how my heart is breaking, forcing me into the thoughtless process of looking into my memory for a picture or image of how beautiful you are from many various events. Where are you these days?

I never got the chance to tell you how I felt, nor am i sure if I will be able to tell you how I feel you. I guess you just didn't realize just how you make my heart melt so easily when were alone - "Will I get eaten Alive"? is a really good question that lingers in the air like cigarette smoke. It seems like im being consumed by strong feelings that I've been attempting to avoid, for the longest while. No of course im not expecting anything at all, and it would be completely wrong for me to do so, based upon the circumstances of the "situation". Or maybe im sadly looking for my heart to be completely and utterly broken into millions of unrepairable pieces. Is it way too late now cause you seem to be gone?

I sit alone waiting for an answer to magically appear in front of me, how childish. I usually have my cell on me - I get excited when someone calls only to be sadly disappointed that the person calling isn't even you. I don't want to call you anymore, or leave messages. I need you to stay, I don't want you to leave. I want to be with you, make you happy, make you smile, but I cant help but feel that the opportunity for that to happen will never present itself. I'm heavily distracted by the current "situation" Like I said before and will now say once again for the sake of stressing these two commonly, and easily confused perceptions:

Need is important.

Want is dangerous.

"I still feel you".