Romantics Always Die First....

Falling, falling, falling, ah. The desolate feeling of falling. Baby where are you? heh,your somewhere else, catching someone else who's falling for you? It's destitute cavalry that has me doing shit, that I wouldn't normally do for anyone except for under these pretenses. In fact these feelings compel me and control me to the point that I'd do almost anything, actually anything that would make her happy, smile, or be appreciative. This sounds really nice, being a tragic hero but in reality I'm just a psychologically/emotionally damaged-romanticle, that dies endlessly for your affection, your love.


Im just torturing myself, for the mere satisfaction of the chase.

Forever more I am A

"Dying Breed".

"A Poem?"

Writing a Poem, fuck that seems difficult something for which you need emotion. But what type is needed?; is it love, happiness, or depression? Or… something else? Or simply the need to write?

What is it really that you need to write a poem? What the fuck compels one to spill their heart, emotions, soul, and inner most deep thoughts out in written text? Is it a lost love, a new found love, or just love itself?, fuck I don't know. I'm clueless as always.?

How about a new car or a fixed car, puppy, or just any other simple material- or method of temporary happiness?

Heres a question thats been lingering in my mind. Do you need a back stabbing best friend, a death, or depression, love, to feel the need for expressing ones true thoughts - that are hidden due to the consumption of them through fear, and loneliness.?

So let me ask you a question, just one. What is it we need to write.....

"A poem?"

"Maybe Some Day"

So it seems I've taken it upon myself to look after myself-thoughtlessly, I came to the quick conclusion that she would never want to cause me sorrow- lead me on- or pain of any sort. Shes made it more than clear I assume, that the feelings I have will not be returned or shared.

Why shouldn't I follow the way my heart feels & leads me, If it would make me & my heart happy, possibly her as well? I'm in doubt, Im not dumb..If I let my heart be happy then it will sooner or later be broken into a million pieces?

To exchange conversations and thoughts now in person over some coffee, tea - at a local Star Bucks or at Chapters would be a very good continuation of a friendship, but its not like the possibility of that to happen would present itself right? Not now, Not for a while.

"Maybe Some Day"

"Made Movements To Slow"

The fear. Consuming fear and self-denial. A dream of compassionate love - a high school type of- fantasy - crushed by the vise of injustice for self, by society. I can’t give myself to you if you hide.

Can two people know each other in darkness? Can a heart survive the cruel coldness of loneliness?

Kiss me. (I know it won’t ever happen) Dream of me - of us. Kill the fear of damnation and the illusions of loneliness within my heart - Lady.

It is over and you are gone. The new School year has started. I always held on too loosely, never tried hard enough. I needed your hands, your touch, your voice - blunt, but honest - cool and penetrating, yet soothing.

I needed to make movements and fast - If I wanted to ever get close to you - or even be with you - but needless to say sadly plans easily change and so have you…

Tell me everything is all okay - love me, like me from wherever you are. More importantly, be my friend - remind me of who I wanted during that blazing hot summer of last, and why I wanted to be with you.

"Need is important"

"Want is dangerous" - I still feel you.

"Fire"

This road that I walk Can be like no other;
Its colored with my choices that I make. With my hopes & dreams within grasp, it will be What I make it.

It has no graves but definitely unforgettable memories of ones I have loved & lost - not lost but let slip away. These people as well as those who have helped me to become Who I am, a compassionate being, with A strong determined mind. A willing hand to exact change.

Though dark clouds may attempt to haunt me And I may fall from time to time. I won’t let them win. I will fight for my unknown future and I will proudly live this futile existence within humanity, because I feel nothing but "Fire"

" Burning Hotter than the Sun Baby "

Fires only dangerous until you get burned, and that fire I shall be. Burning, Blazing, Melting.

Until then fuel me with your distastes, and destructive remarks - like oil to a fire. "don't get third degree burns"